Dreaming of the Future

 

 Maybe it's the blooming of Spring, but something has me feeling restless these days.  I don't know quite how to explain it.  Sometimes I feel like I just want to jump out of my skin, other times I want to run away, and still other times it's just an unfocused energy.  It's almost like when my kids have "ants in their pants" and can't sit still - that's what I feel like.  Whatever is causing it, I wish it would stop.  It's not the most comfortable of feelings at all.

     Do you ever have days where you are constantly thinking backwards?  Thinking of people or events in your past that you miss in some way?  I do, far too often.  They come to me in my dreams too.  I can't control that at all, but it does make me wonder why.  I can go months or years without thinking of something, or someone, and all of a sudden, they are in my dreams at night.  That happened recently, and this time it wasn't as unnerving as usual.  I had a dream, and someone appeared in it - completely out of any context we ever were associated together in (I was dreaming we were in a school class together, and we didn't know each other in school at all.)  Thanks to the wonders of the internet & Facebook, we are still friends & occasionally "talk" online.  My curiosity was peaked as to why I dreamt of them, so I thought I'd check in.  I just sent a quick little note, like "hey, how are you, thinking of you".  What happened afterwards was great, and I'm still thinking about it days later.

     My friend has ups and downs, just like anyone else.  I happened to have messaged during a down day, and we ended up chatting for a good long while.  Nothing extraordinary, nothing profound really - just chatting, remembering.  We did come to the realization that we've been friends for close to THIRTY years (don't do the math, I keep trying to forget that part, LOL.)  And remember, we didn't go to school together at all, so to me, it's been a long time, in our adult lives, that we've known each other.  And yes, I still remember details like birthdays, middle names, addresses (though I'm sure THAT is not the same) - which goes to show you that either I am a little strange (or a lot strange), or this person has always been important to me.  I don't think they knew that until we had our chat the other day, but I do hope they remember it now.  No matter what is going on in our individual lives, or how far apart we may be, I think of my friend.  Often.  I remember many things we did together as foolish 18-19 year olds.  I still have pictures in my albums of us together too.
 
     I was also reminded of how this friend encouraged me - in my writing, in my life.  Told me things I needed to hear, even if I didn't like them, or didn't really listen to them at the time.  Maybe I should have listened more.  I may have helped them with a rough day, but it helped me too.  It brought back memories of when I had more ambition, when I wanted to do more with myself.  I may not have done it then, but it's never too late.  It may have not been the easiest route to where I am, but I wouldn't change the journey at all.  If one small thing had changed, so many bigger things might have.  I may not have had the awesome children I have.  Who knows what would have been different?  So, I'm glad I went the path that I did.  I hope my friend is too.  But I am very glad we reconnected, even if it was only in that one moment.  I like to think we plan on staying in closer contact, but that remains to be seen.  

     One thing I do know, is that I don't want to "waste" more time in my life.  I haven't had any real ambition for a very long time.  I do my mom thing, and I love that.  I LOVE that I am ABLE to do that.  But I also feel somewhat unaccomplished in so many ways.  I am almost 46 years old, and what can I say about myself?  I'm a wife of almost 20 years.  I've been a mom for 25 years, of four fabulous kids (some not so "kiddish" any more.)  I write here - but not often enough. I run my own small business with The Gourmet Cupboard.   Is that enough?  Should I do more?  And if so, what?  I think it's time to find out what I want to do when I grow up.  I think it's horrible that I still don't know.  And I don't know how, or where, to start.  So, if you're reading this, I'm taking suggestions on where to begin to finally find out what I want to do.  How did you decide that you wanted to do what you are doing?  Did you just fall into it, like I did?  Or did you have a goal, like my daughter who is in college studying psychology?  Am I just having a mid-life crisis, and if so, how do you survive one?  Or should I just run off and join the circus?  I'm open to suggestions, really.

Disney's The Lone Ranger Movie Premiere!

   

     Last night, my daughter and I attended the local premiere for Disney's The Lone Ranger movie, starring Armie Hammer & Johnny Depp.  I received the tickets from a local radio station, WTIC 96.5 FM, and since K & I are such big fans of Johnny Depp, we couldn't resist going!!
     The showing was for 7 pm, we arrived at 5:45 and still were #114 & #115 in line!  Make sure you go good and early if you ever attend a movie premiere at your local theaters.  There was a sign suggesting that we should have been there at 5:15!  Luckily we didn't stand in line too long before they started letting people in.  The line moved along fairly quickly too.
    Once past that ticket taker, we met up with another line - first to be searched with metal detectors, and then to leave our cellphones with attendants outside the actual theater room we'd be in.  I had never seen that done before, but I totally understand why they did it - this way, there would be no spoilers out there for a movie that doesn't come out until July 3rd.  Being the smartphone addict that I am, I'll admit to some separation anxiety & withdrawal symptoms, but I obviously survived them. Once that was all accomplished, we were let into the theater.
    Another unusual thing for me, was that there were none of the "previews" you see before a movie.  Again, understandable, this was a Disney premiere - they don't want to suggest other movies for you to see.  Just something I wasn't used to I guess (can you tell I don't get to go to the movies all that often?)
    Okay, the movie began, after a "nice" warning from the promoters that no one should have their cellphones on them, no recording, etc.  To be honest, knowing some of the Lone Ranger story, I wasn't sure what I was expecting, but Disney did it up wonderfully!  Having an unknown to me actor playing The Lone Ranger was good - no expectations for him to have met or not met.  Armie Hammer made a goofy law man, but once he took on the persona of The Lone Ranger, he was great!  I have to say though, Johnny Depp stole the show, as I'm sure he was meant to.  He was unrecognizable as Tonto, yet we still knew who he was, and I loved how he brought out his humor in a movie where I expected none.  (I don't know why I wasn't anticipating any, especially with Depp as the actor.)
     I am unsure why, but the movie also brought out things I never knew about The Lone Ranger, or maybe it was just some Disney magic storytelling. Whatever the case, we thoroughly enjoyed the movie, and the time flew by.  There is a little time shifting in the movie, and for either setting, you really feel like you are in that time frame.  I loved the outfits for the women in the movie - so authentic and fitting.  The characters were fantastic - some you love to hate (they really played their parts well) and others you cheered on even if you weren't sure you should.  So many great laugh-out-loud moments too.  I'm already quoting lines from the film to my daughter & friends (too bad the friends have no idea what I'm talking about.)
     All in all, we had a great time seeing this movie, and I really would love to see it again and again.  I think the rest of my family would enjoy it too.  I wouldn't hesitate to take my younger kids to see it either (they are 8 & 9) - yes the Wild West has some violence, but really not as much as many of the movies out there today.  Disney did a very good job with this legendary story, and as always Johnny Depp made another character his own.  

*Disclaimer - All thoughts expressed here are my own.  I received nothing in return for this review.  The movie pass was provided from a radio station promotion, and not by Disney.

Who Do They Think They Are?

     It usually takes a lot to make me upset.  At least outside of my family life (sorry family.)  Today something took place that really hit my buttons, and I'm so fired up about it right now.  I'm still thinking about how I want to handle it, so I thought I'd write about it here first.

    I know in this day and age, employers have a lot more to consider when it comes to their employees' behavior.  Facebook and Twitter have made a lot more for them to deal with in those regards.  And I do understand that they don't want their employees, in any business/company, posting negative remarks about their businesses, or giving secrets away, or whatever else may occur.  I'm sure they also do not want anyone associated with their company/business behaving in wild, erratic behavior and posting provocative pictures/posts where it sometimes will be connected with the business' name.  Totally understandable.  But, does any company, business, organization, etc, have the right to tell anyone who they can and/or can't be friends with on one of those networking sites?

     Case in point, our Board of Education came up with a Social Networking policy recently.  Again, I do understand these things need to be done, and in many cases, WHY they need to be done.  I have had children in the local school system for the past 16+ years.  In those years, I have become close with many of the teachers, staff, administrators of their schools, especially our elementary school.  I had even "friended" some of them on Facebook as I came across them, or searched out the ones I had really become close to.  Now, this policy is telling these BOE employees that they can NOT be friends with parents of students.  None of my children's CURRENT teachers are my "friends" on Facebook - I never wanted to put them into a situation that might be awkward.  One or two could become my younger children's teachers in the future, and during that time, I would definitely "unfriend" them to keep things fair.  But to tell me that I can't be "friends" with someone that I saw several times a day, helped in their classrooms whenever I could, and enjoyed being with them, I don't feel is right.

     What do you think?  Am I wrong to feel this way?  Our school recently closed, because of a new, larger school being built.  I no longer get to see my "friends" twice a day or more, so I liked keeping in touch on Facebook.  It was an easy way to say hi, how was your day, see what they were up to, how their kids were, etc.  Now their employer is saying that isn't allowed.  I know the ones that have already "unfriended" me took the time to let me know why, and none of us are happy about it, but I am certainly not going to put their jobs in any kind of jeopardy just to talk together on a social networking site such as Facebook.  I will also be letting the BOE know of my opinion, possibly the local newspaper as well, and who knows, maybe even a Board meeting soon.  But does ANY company have the right to require this of their employees?  Can a McDonald's manager tell his employees that they can't be friends with a Burger King employee, or any of the customers?  Who decides these things, and where do you draw the line?  They may write the paychecks, control your time ON THE JOB, and more, but can they tell you how you can socialize with your friends, and who you can be friends with?

     I think I will end my rant for now, but I'm sure there will be more to come on the subject.  I'd love to hear your comments too.  Has this happened to you?  Do you know of any legislation or controversy on this subject?  Let me know.