Proud Mommy Moment

     

Tonight is another one of those proud Mommy moments - my older daughter graduated high school!  She's not my first to graduate (that was her brother in 2007), and she won't be my last (I have 2 younger children as well), but tonight's honor is all hers!  She IS my first child to graduate with National Honor Society honors (both NHS and French NHS), and she will be my first to go to college out of state.  I don't think I have the words to describe just how impressed I am with her achievements.
     Yes, I had tears in my eyes - fabulously happy tears mixed with wistful tears.  So happy for the young woman who has excelled throughout school and is going on to bigger, better things.  At the same time, sad for myself, to lose one of my best friends (don't say that to her, you'll just get the teenage eye-rolling).  I honestly will be so lost without seeing her every day, talking to her all the time, going shopping or getting lunch together almost every other day.  She will embrace the change and flourish in her new surroundings (Boston, MA!)  On the other hand, I will miss our goofy giggling, our sharing tv shows, our time together.  Empty nest syndrome before the nest is even more than half empty!  (My older children would call that pathetic.)
     Why is it so different with her?  Her older brother not only graduated high school, but went off to the US Marine Corps, and while I missed him greatly, I didn't feel this panic & sadness that I am feeling with her.  Maybe it's because he is my son from my first marriage, so he spent many weekends at his father's house. I was used to letting him go.  Except for the occasional sleepover, or a band trip during high school, she has rarely been away from us.  Certainly not this far away either,  a 2+ hour drive.  Yes, I have already travelled to her new destination a few times.  I know my way there and back (and have duly warned her of that fact.)
     To tell you the truth, I am more than a little jealous of it all too.  I graduated high school (back in the stone ages if you ask my kids), but never went on to anything else.  I went back to my mom's house, got a job by the end of the summer, and never went to college.  I will admit, I am completely envious of everything she has ahead of her - a new bustling city, so many choices of what to do with her schooling, her life, and her future.  I guess I'll sit back and watch her blossom & bloom, agonize that I am not making her decisions for her any more, and keep my fingers crossed for her.  I know she'll have those inevitable disappointments in her life, but I've watched her grow, and I know she'll rise above them & go on to more and more successes.